Building Resilience When The Struggle Is Real

Every June I look forward to Pride, a time to celebrate the contributions and impact of LGBTQ+ individuals on history. This year, as we entered the last week of this much anticipated month, I found it difficult to feel celebratory. Four months into a quarantine with no clear end in sight, mounting social and political tensions, plus economic and financial uncertainty had soured my mood.

But it was the civil rights “whiplash” we were experiencing as members of the LGBTQ+ community that had me reeling. How was I expected to celebrate the current administration’s concerted efforts to eliminate protections for our community across multiple areas of policy — including education, housing, employment and healthcare? Even the latest Supreme Court ruling falls short of a “major victory,” as news outlets around the world labeled it. Am I expected to feel victorious merely because six out of nine Justices ruled in favor of human rights?

Fifty one years after the brick that started the modern gay rights movement was thrown, it’s tough to feel triumphant when our inalienable rights — and our very existence and worth — are still being negotiated by the few.

Feeling so exhausted, I struggled not to succumb to the paralyzing effects of cynicism and apathy. Looking for inspiration, I delved into the very history of our fight for equality. What I gleaned from that exploration is that progress is possible through perseverance and resilience, powered by a healthy dose of optimism. That insight renewed my desire to celebrate.

In the Fall of 2019, I visited Washington, D.C.’s Newseum, an interactive museum dedicated to educating people about the five freedoms of the First Amendment, and the importance of a free and fair press. I was particularly intrigued about “Rise Up: Stonewall and the LGBTQ Rights Movement,” an exhibit highlighting key moments of gay rights history through artifacts, images and print publications. From matchbooks used by the Mattachine Society and pamphlets from the Daughters of Bilitis, to Jim Obergefell and late husband Jon Arthur’s fused wedding rings, this exhibit was surprisingly moving.

The most insightful portion came from the short film “Into the Streets,” which showcased how the LGBTQ+ rights movement has historically harnessed the power of public protest to change policy and shift culture. The film perfectly illustrated how our community has used every setback we’ve experienced to catapult ourselves forward:

• Innumerable instances of police harassment and unjust raids led to the Stonewall riots that marked the official start of the LGBTQ+ rights movement.
• Anita Bryant’s vitriolic “Save Our Children” campaign and Harvey Milk’s assassination galvanized our community and allies to fight back, which led to the passing of anti-discrimination policies and laws across the country, as well as a surge in openly LGBTQ+ people running for public office.
• The government’s active avoidance to properly address, or even acknowledge, the AIDS epidemic while gay men were dying by the thousands led to the formation of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, one of the most influential patient advocacy groups in history. Through radical, direct action and civil disobedience, ACT UP was largely successful in its aims of drawing attention to the epidemic, fighting the stigma associated with the virus, and expanding access to treatment.

As I wiped away tears, I was reminded that progress is as difficult as it is possible, and that optimism is indispensable. That doesn’t mean becoming Pollyannas who look at the world through rose-colored glasses. It means, instead, that progress requires us to feel confident about the future and assured of successful outcomes. After all, why would I keep working for something if I believed it to be a Sisyphean goal?

Focusing on progress, not perfection, helps me stay optimistic. I recognize that a long history of socially-acceptable, institutionalized homophobia will not be eradicated overnight (or even in half a century, evidently). Optimism keeps me moving forward even when I am tired of efforts to erase me. It lifts me up when my spirits have been knocked down by someone questioning my right to exist and be counted. Optimism fuels my perseverance and strengthens my resilience.

While there is a lot of work ahead — particularly to protect our trans and gender-nonconforming siblings, who continue to be vilified, attacked, prosecuted and murdered at alarming rates — I am proud of how far we’ve come. I am inspired to persevere in the name of progress, not perfection. I feel stronger and more resilient than ever.

And that is cause for celebration.

Juan Cortés is a co-founder of MatterOfCulture, a collective of consultants, coaches and trainers dedicated to helping organizations become exceptional places to work.